Well, it’s only been 19 days since you fulfilled the order, but not to worry, I’ve already eaten 11 items in the Variety Meal 12-pack, 10 of the Berry Blast pack and 9 of the Raspberry Blast pack (why is there a “p” in “Raspberry?” Makes no sense at all…).
I would have eaten more, but I’m trying to save something for the weekend…
Yes, I am on the Probar Protocol, which is, as you well know and understand, that new medical theory stating that the consumption of anything other than Probars can lead to hair loss, the growth of a third arm and, worst of all, the onset of hallucinations in which the ghost of your high school gym teacher appears before you naked, demanding another 13 pushups.
In all candor, I did drop off the Probar Protocol for about three months, but there was an upside. Due to my baldness I no longer need haircuts, my new arm has made my typing even faster, and the gym teacher in my hallucinations has been replaced by the appearance of Jean Harlow sans clothing, so it’s all good.
The downside of being off Probars was that I missed all of that delicious food and the energy it provided, which was my primary reason for that latest order. I missed those quality products, but to tell you the truth, I’m also missing that vision of Ms. Harlow, despite her having been gone for 84 years.
I hope that my honest report on your products will help you design new and exciting items that will increase your market share to the point of absolute and total domination. My goal is the same as yours: That anyone anywhere who is consuming any handy and nutritious snack or on-the-run meal is doing so by unwrapping an item with Probar emblazoned on its sides.
Sincerely,
Jon Asher
Glorieta, New Mexico
